What do happy couples do differently? A new study examined what the recipe for a happy relationship is and found the following six small gestures that make a partnership particularly fulfilling.
You can’t buy happiness. But leaving it entirely to chance doesn’t have to be – especially not in love. The online dating agency ElitePartner asked 2,880 people what makes them happy in their relationship.
Teamwork makes the dream work
Far before exciting trips around the world or nightly sex, there is one thing that comes first when it comes to happiness in a partnership: togetherness. Couples who work as a team are more satisfied than others.
In each case, 88 percent of the satisfied couples stated that they were well organized in everyday life and that they felt supported by their partner in case of worries and problems.
Psychologist Lisa Fischbach from ElitePartner explains in a press release: “Being able to rely on your partner in all situations promotes trust in the stability of a partnership. Long-term couples in particular are often the first to report about their positive quality as a team. ”
The optimal combination: humor and real interest
Laughter makes you happy – especially when you do it together. 84 percent of the happy couples said they laughed “often” or “very often” together. In the case of dissatisfied couples, it was only 47 percent.
In-depth conversations go hand in hand with laughing together. Two-thirds of the happy couples often have valuable conversations – for Lisa Fischbach, who is a graduate psychologist, an “expression of real interest”.
Out of sight, but not out of mind
Keyword freedom: Especially in love relationships, it is important to get involved with the other, but also not to neglect your own interests and friends. Three-quarters (76 percent) of happy couples said they often or very often spend time individually.
There is one thing that distinguishes happy couples from unhappy ones: 75 percent of happy couples stay in contact with their partner when they are out solo; with the unfortunate, it is just 46 percent.
A loving message, a sweet photo, or a quick phone call is important. “Those who find a good balance with their partner and give them the feeling of closeness in their absence create a strong foundation,” emphasizes Lisa Fischbach.
Love, sex, and tenderness? Secondary!
Interesting about the study: For happy couples, sex or compliments are not the number one priority. Of the happy couples, only 58 percent said they regularly have time for sex and tenderness. In terms of attention and compliments, it was only 54 percent.
There were even fewer of the dissatisfied: 27 and 25 percent, respectively, actively take time for love, sex, and tenderness.
Not all arguments are the same. The current study proves this once more. Happy couples often quarrel without much drama. That means: less often with faster reconciliation.
40 percent of the unhappy couples regularly experience friction and heated discussions, among the happy it was only 17 percent. Reconciliation comes quickly with only 40 percent of the unfortunate, while 80 percent of the lucky ones bury the hatchet quickly.
“If the positive aspects of a partnership predominate, the number of conflicts is not an indicator of the quality of a relationship. But if they are carried out hurtful with accusations or devaluations, they endanger the togetherness in the long term, ”explains Lisa Fischbach, a graduate psychologist from ElitePartner.
By the way: every fifth happy couple said that they rarely or never celebrate their anniversary. Satisfaction in the relationship cannot be measured by this.