Inner peace, balance, contentment in everyday life, being happy – that’s possible! Happiness is not only dependent on external factors. In this article, we give you tips on how you can become a lot happier without major, external changes.
On the positive side, there are many things that can help you to become happier, to cope with everyday life with balance and satisfaction. One of the essential keys to happiness is calm. You probably know the old saying: “Strength lies in calm”. This wisdom can also, but not only, be interpreted as a call for silence. While introverts draw the market share of their psychological power from their own self, the opposite is true for extroverts.
They need other people to do this – they tend to be in a less quiet environment. But the saying applies to both groups. Because this is about inner peace. It grows primarily out of trust. Those who firmly trust their inner strength – even when things are not going too well – have a good basis to be permanently relaxed and happy for everyday use. So one could also say: “Strength lies in trust”.
Of course, to be that optimistic it is necessary that you know your strengths well. It is not so much a question of precisely delimiting them; especially you shouldn’t unnecessarily compare yourself to other people here. You should just be aware of what you are good at – and what you love. Because when we are enthusiastic about something, it is easier for us, regardless of actual talent. In this respect, enthusiasm is also an extremely useful skill – which can also be trained.
Don’t forget: Failures are situational. They don’t mean that you can’t do something in general. And: use all of your resources. This includes asking others for help. People are principally social beings. Helping each other is in our blood – and it also makes us happy! So give others the chance to help you and, conversely, be there for them. A stable network of social relationships is worth a lot. It’s not about having as many friends as possible. If you only know one person who you can count on without looking, you can consider yourself very lucky.
MASTERING CRISES WITH HAPPINESS HORMONE
With other people by your side, it is usually easier to cope with crises. After all, satisfaction and lasting happiness in everyday life do not mean to be permanently happy. Resilience and fighting spirit are part of it. It can be helpful to know a few techniques that can help you if things are not going so well:
For example, you can keep a thought diary in which you collect helpful insights and sayings that move you and that may be useful to you again later. You can also record positive experiences here – everything that strengthens you. Or findings from the area of how-to-be-me.
The dopa menu also goes in this direction. This technique actually comes from ADD therapy but works for practically everyone. Dopa is short for dopamine, a human happiness hormone. Surely you know some things that consistently cheer you up. It can be a piece of chocolate or exercise. Cuddle with your pet, go for a walk, listen to music or immerse yourself in a fictional world. Whatever is good for you, write it down. You can differentiate between things that can be easily implemented in everyday life and things that require a little more effort.
You can give the latter as a present to yourself on occasion. The former replaces the aspirin tablet in between. Because if you feel bad, you don’t have to worry about what you can do with this method. Take a look at your dopa menu list and do one of the actions right away. After that, you should feel better and be better equipped to face your problems.
YOUR OWN WELL-BEING COMES FIRST
Another key point of crisis management is: Choose your problems. If you are an empathetic person and always want to help everyone, that’s great! But be careful not to turn all of the problems into yours! Every good deed makes the world a little bit better, but if you end up too exhausted, you can no longer help anyone – not even yourself. This applies in private as well as in the job. If the boardroom is asking too much of you again, collect yourself and try to explain why you are currently unable to do something. When in doubt: find allies.
Be authentic about it. Of course, in the first step, it makes sense to communicate objectively. But if you feel really bad, it is important that others notice. This is the only way they can show consideration for you and classify your behavior correctly. So be honest about your feelings – towards others and towards yourself.
When in doubt: Force yourself to talk to others. We often feel that we shouldn’t burden others with our problems. We are considerate of everyone, just not ourselves. Would you want your best friend to eat problems instead of talking to you about them? Often it is only in conversation that we feel how beneficial it can be to let everything out. And that can also be a relief for your counterpart. Because if you know you well, you may have suspected that something is wrong, worries, and wonders why you are not talking about it. If you open up, it is a vote of confidence and gives you the opportunity to deal with the crisis together. By the way: Also the ability to speak openly about feelings and thoughts is a matter of practice.
PLANNING, FLEXIBILITY, AND OPTIMISM
Planning gives security. “Good for those who have a plan,” is the saying. But not everything can be planned. And that shouldn’t be your goal at all. What would life be without surprises? A healthy optimism sometimes helps further than a precise plan. Because life all too often laughs at plans. With optimism, you have better chances. The principle behind this is a self-fulfilling prophecy. When you really want something and think about it a lot, your brain learns to pay attention to anything that can help you achieve that goal. You notice things that you would otherwise never have noticed. This greatly improves your chances of reaching your goal.
In return, anxiety and stress are real mood killers that have a negative impact on mental and physical health. Planning can help here. As is so often the case, everything is a question of balance. Planning yes, but not frantically.
TOLERANCE AND FIGHTING SPIRIT
Things don’t always go according to plan, but that’s okay. Organize your resources. If something is important to you, you have to fight for it. Sometimes it even feels good. But if something is practically lost, don’t invest any more effort in it. Giving up is often much harder than desperately going on. But in the end, it’s healthier in such cases. Sometimes you have to learn to accept that something doesn’t work out. These can be small things, but also more serious cases. Two things are particularly helpful here:
Trust the time. The mantra is: This too will pass. If something is bothering you, think about how you will look at the problem in a week – or in a month, in a year, in 10 years. Do you feel like you will never get rid of this problem? Then it’s time to seek help. Possibly also professional. But if you find that your problem is very uncomfortable, but there is nothing you can do about it and will have forgotten about it in a year anyway, then you can stop getting upset about it right away – or at least try to. Because you know that grass will grow over it. Time works for you here. You just have to wait.
And you have one more way to face problems: decide to be happy. The French philosopher Voltaire once said: “I have decided to be happy – because it is good for my health.” And he is right. No matter what it is that causes you problems, nothing and no one has the right to make you unhappy. If something or someone hurts you, ignorance can also be the means of choice. If possible, you can fight it, of course. But sometimes it’s just more relaxed and healthier not to care and focus on other things. Happiness is also a question of focus.
If you are interested in more posts like this, check out our site!